On Your Own
by pineapplefan
Summary: You did it. You made it to college. You're here, at the University of Tulsa, and there's a world full of opportunity greeting you with open arms. One-Shot.


You collapse onto your new bed, your feet exhausted from walking the quad. A day full of "welcome" festivities and you're spent. Meeting new people, learning about clubs, getting the lay of the land.

You grin across the room at your roommate. His name is Marty, or as he introduced himself, "Mah-tey," a Boston native.

You like him just fine. His hair might be a sight for sore eyes and he might say "man" too frequently, but he's genuinely a nice guy, and you knew that from the start.

Marty returns the smile. "We made it, man," he says.

"We still have so much unpacking to do," you say, looking around your new room, boxes littering the floor.

"That's the beauty of college, my friend," Marty says, standing up and puffing out his chest. "Nobody's nagging us to unpack. The world is at our command. We unpack when we please! This is anarchy!" He salutes you before slipping out the door for the john.

You chuckle after him, shaking your head. You couldn't stop smiling if you tried.

You did it. You made it to college. You're here, at the University of Tulsa, and there's a world full of opportunity greeting you with open arms.

You grab the picture frame sitting on your desk, one of the very few items you've unpacked. Then you settle back into your pillows, looking the picture over.

It's the last picture you took as a family: Christmas day, back in 1966. It had been a white Christmas that year - something rare for Tulsa - and you'd all built a snowman together. Dad stood on one side of the snowman, Mom on the other, kids up front, grinning from ear to ear.

You could stare at that picture for hours. Especially now, when you know it was them who got you here. You would still be back in that godforsaken town without them. You wouldn't have received an athletic scholarship to run track, you wouldn't have graduated valedictorian of your high school class… you wouldn't be here, plain and simple. It was them you had to thank.

Your mom and dad, who told you to always try your best and had believed in you from the start. Sodapop who had never-ending faith in you. And Darry, who gave up his college dreams after your parents passed so that you could have a college career of your own.

You think back to this morning, when Darry and Soda dropped you off. You think about how they said they were proud of you, how they would miss you, how they loved you so much. You remember how you hugged them goodbye, tears sliding down your cheeks. You were afraid of being away from your brothers after so many years of trying to stay together.

But at the same time, you're excited. You're anxious to see what the college experience will bring.

You set the picture frame back down on your desk, remembering something you were supposed to do. You reach into you jeans pocket for spare change, slip out your door, walk the stairs down to the lobby, and search for the pay phone.

No one is using it at this time of night. It's late, and you hope your brothers are still awake as you dial your home number.

It rings only once, and Soda is the one who picks up. "Pony?"

It's already so good to hear his voice. "Hey, Soda," you say, smiling.

"We were wondering when you'd call."

"Yeah, sorry," you apologize. "Busy day."

"Well, tell me about it," Soda says eagerly, and you can tell he's itching for details. "What all did you do?"

So you tell him everything, from the moment he and Darry drove away to now. You tell him about Marty, and your dorm, and your class schedule, and how you learned about clubs, and the pick-up football game you played with your floor… everything. You have to feed some more coins into the pay phone just to get the whole story out.

Soda stays on the line, just listening. And when you're finished, you can hear the smile in his voice. "Sounds like you're going to have a great year Ponyboy," he says. "I love you, kid."

Your cheeks burn, the way they always do when Soda tells you that. He's never been shy about letting you know how much you mean to him. After losing your parents, you all learned how important it is to tell one another that. As much as possible. "Love you too, Soda," you say softly. "I already miss you so much."

"We're only twenty minutes away, Ponyboy," he reminds you. "We'll see you all the time. Two-Bit says he can't wait to come visit you."

You laugh. "I can't wait either. Hey, put Darry on the phone for bit, will you?"

"Sure, Pone. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Yeah," you say. "Bye Soda."

You hear rustling as your brothers exchange the phone, and then you hear Darry clear his throat. "Hey, Ponyboy," he says.

"Hi, Dar," you say.

"How's it going?" Darry asks. "You having fun?"

You swallow hard. "Yeah, a lot of fun," you tell him, your voice uneven. A lump has formed in your throat. Because as you stand here talking to Darry, you realize how much he's given up for you, how much you took him for granted. He had what you have. He was well on his way to college, determined and focused to make a life for himself.

"You sure?" Darry asks, his voice taking the familiar form of concern. "You sound upset."

"I'm okay," you assure him. "I just…"

"What, Pone?" he presses on.

You let out a deep breath, not knowing how to say what you need to say. There are no words that could live up to the immense gratitude you feel for your oldest brother. "I just want to thank you," you tell him.

You hear Darry breathe in deeply. "For what?" His voice is riddled with confusion.

"For everything," you answer quietly. _For pushing me to do my best, for working so hard, for knowing what was right for me. _

"Of course, Pony," he says, his voice slightly strangled, and you wonder if he's holding back tears too. He's quiet for a moment before he speaks again. "You should get some sleep after the day you've had. It's late."

"Yeah," you agree softly. "I'll talk to you real soon, Dar."

"Sure, Pone. Be safe, you hear me?" He clears his throat again, gruffly. "Study hard and have fun. We're proud of you, kiddo."

You can't help it. A tear slips down your cheek.

You say your goodbyes and then you hang up the phone.

When you return to your room after getting washed up for bed, the light is out. Marty is already fast asleep in his bed. You close the door behind you and slip into your own bed, being careful not to wake him.

You let out a quiet sigh as you let yourself sink into the mattress. You'll miss your brothers, no doubt about that, but you are confident that you'll find your place here at TU.

It's a bittersweet feeling, being away from home. But you know it's what is best for you, what your brothers want for you, what your parents dreamed for you.

And you're determined to do right by them. You're determined to keep making them proud.

You roll over, pulling the covers over your head as you do. You close your eyes, thinking about the day you had, what tomorrow will bring, and the experiences to come.

Sleep comes quickly, exhaustion settling in.

The first night, in your home away from home, you sleep soundly.


End file.
